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The voice of Scotland’s vibrant voluntary sector

Published by Scottish Council for Voluntary Organisations

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Fifth of Scots parents feel lonely and isolated

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​Lack of support is leaving Scots parents feeling cut off from the rest of society

One in five parents in Scotland feel lonely and isolated, regularly feeling cut off from friends and other sources of support, according to a leading children’s charity.

Research by Action for Children (ACT) has unearthed a “shocking” scale of loneliness that for more than 20% of people has become worse since becoming a parent.

The importance of having a support network to rely on was also highlighted by parents the charity spoke to, with more than half (57%) saying it is particularly important to have friends who are also parents.

The survey, carried out by Survation, interviewed 148 parents in Scotland and 2,037 across the UK.

Carol Iddon, Action for Children’s director of children’s services for Scotland, said: “It’s troubling to see that so many parents feel isolated.

“Having a network that you can call on is vital, to help celebrate your child’s achievements and share those funny moments or the tougher times, which all parents face.

“Becoming a parent doesn’t come with a handbook; you’re always learning and as your children grow their needs and the skills you need to call on as a parent change.

“Local services like our family support volunteers in Inverclyde and West Dunbartonshire can offer a real lifeline to parents who feel isolated – somewhere to meet and make friends. Staff there won’t judge if you drop in looking for support, and you can take part in activities like play sessions or parenting classes.”

Home alone and isolated

Susan, a 37 year-old secretary has an 18 week old baby. She went through a difficult pregnancy and birth, then developed post-natal depression.

“Being a parent is a massive responsibility, but unlike other responsibilities you aren’t taught how to do it," she said.

"People kept telling me that instinct would soon kick in but it took about three months for me to get to know my baby.”

Susan didn’t have many friends who were pregnant or had new born babies and because of a cesarean section she couldn’t drive for six weeks. This combined to leave her feeling isolated.

She sought help and got support locally, starting to attend sessions which put her in touch with other parents.

“I was apprehensive about going at first because I worried I wouldn’t fit in with the other mums but I soon realised that we were all in the same boat," she said.

"Getting out of the house and going to the centre gives me a sense of achievement and it stops me sitting at home feeling alienated.”