"Not tonight darling" is a common refrain among half of the adult population
Fewer than half of adults are satisfied with their sex life, according to new research by leading relationships charities.
The pressure to have “amazing sex” often means couples end up either not having sex at all or ignore what is good in their sex life, the study reveals.
According to a YouGov poll commissioned jointly by Relate, Marriage Care and Relationships Scotland of around 6,000 UK adults, only 45% said they were “fairly satisfied” or “very satisfied” with their sex life, while 51% said they had not had sex in the past month.
Couples, say the charities, often want to bring spontaneity back in their relationships, but sex is rarely truly spontaneous and busy people sometimes have to plan for intimacy.
Relate, which provides around 20,000 sessions of sex therapy each year, recommends that couples should not shy away from planning sex, or from kissing and cuddling in front of their children.
Anne Chilton at Relationships Scotland said: “It’s sad that so few people in Scotland and also the rest of the UK are sexually satisfied and put pressure on themselves to perform. Our appetite for sex can be like our appetite for food.
"Sometimes you want a big steak dinner with all the works, but at times just a bit of toast will do. We want to reassure couples that it’s okay to have a more relaxed attitude to having sex. And that can mean it’s okay to plan time for sex if you have busy lives.
“After the initial stages of a relationship when sex is more frequent it can become less important as you discover other parts of the relationship and explore life as a couple.
"If you make time for each other as a couple you create that opportunity to connect, sexually and in all the other ways that make you satisfied as a couple.”
The figures are taken from Relationships Scotland, Marriage Care and Relate’s The Way We Are Now 2015 report into the state of the UK’s relationships. The full report will be published at the end of the month.
