Anne Grindley says Contact the Elderly's monthly parties can help older people overcome loneliness.
Before I retired, I worked in community and adult education. I used to run community activities: lunch clubs for elderly people, evening classes, that kind of thing. I’d always been interested in volunteering, but back then I was just too busy.
One day, I heard a radio advert for Contact the Elderly. It was just before Christmas, and they were looking for people to host Sunday tea parties for lonely elderly people in the city.
I remember thinking “what a brilliant idea - I could do that”. So when I retired, I gave them a call and started volunteering.
Back then, there weren’t many groups in Edinburgh. We had very few staff, and covered a very large area. So I got off my butt and offered to help more. Within a couple of years I became the area manager for Edinburgh.
It’s a two-way process: we learn an awful lot from our guests, they can be so inspiring and the parties are a lot of fun
Anne Grindley
When I started, we had four groups in the city. Now there are 17 and we could easily fill another three or four from our waiting list.
Each of our groups has six or seven guests and three or four hosts. Once a month, we all meet at one of the hosts’ houses for a tea party. Because we keep the same people in each group, everyone gets to know each other well and we all have a good laugh when we meet.
We take a positive approach to growing older. We should celebrate the fact that people are living longer, but also realise that things can get tough in later life. Most of our guests are widowed, some are experiencing a loss of mobility or deteriorating health and many have lost a lot of their friends.
It wouldn’t take much to tip us from being well-connected and independent to almost a prisoner in our own homes – which is why the service we offer is so important. The tea parties give people something to look forward to. I’ve had so many letters and calls thanking me from people saying they had a lovely time.
One lady was referred to us by her GP. That’s quite unusual, so I gave her a call. The first time we spoke, she said she just wasn’t up for it. But I called again, and the next time she agreed to give us a go.
So the driver picked her up – in her best clothes and hat – and took her to one of our parties. For three hours, she didn’t stop smiling.
I spoke to her at the end, and she told me she’d been alone for seven years, with almost no social interaction at all during that time. I can’t imagine how terrible that must have been. It was fantastic that we were able to bring her back to the world again.
Our hosts get so much from it too. It’s a two-way process: we learn an awful lot from our guests, they can be so inspiring and the parties are a lot of fun.
Most of the people who volunteer with us have been looking to do something for a long term. Some of our volunteers are as young as 18, it’s amazing how socially aware they can be.
We can always use more people though – both volunteers and guests. So we’re asking people to spread the word about our new campaign, Be Our Guest. The more people who apply, the more groups we can start – and the more people we can help.
Anne Grindley is Contact the Elderly’s area manager for Edinburgh. Information about hosting tea parties or becoming a volunteer is available on the Contact the Elderly website or on the Freephone number 0800 716 543.
