Nine in 10 people with experience of mental illness face stigma from those closest to them. 

Stigma continues to be a major barrier for people with experience of a mental illness – even facing stigma and lack of support from those closest to them.   

More than nine in 10 people with experience of a mental illness say that they have faced stigma in relationships with family and friends, according to a new study.   

In the Scottish Mental Illness Stigma Study, from See Me and the Mental Health Foundation, 92 per cent of respondents reported facing some frequency of stigma and discrimination from those closest to them in the previous 12 months.  

Recent headlines and views expressed by high-profile figures are contributing to the public stigma that surrounds mental health and mental illness in Scotland – and See Me, the national programme to end mental health stigma and discrimination, is calling on the public to rethink their attitudes and show greater support and understanding for those of us who experience poor mental health.  

Much of the stigma and discriminatory behaviour people face stems from public stigma, also known as prejudice – when people form an opinion before becoming aware of and understanding the relevant facts. Public stigma continues to be one of the key barriers people experience when it comes to speaking up and seeking help with their mental health.  

It is often influenced by stigmatising stereotypes and myths that are passed down through generations or presented in the media and on social media. Inaccurate portrayals of people who experience mental illness in books, films and TV series spread damaging misinformation to many people – including people who have a friend, family member or loved one who experiences poor mental health.  

The programme’s research has shown that stigma continues to prevent people from accessing support and pursuing everyday life experiences, such as anticipating people wouldn’t want to be their friend or expecting romantic partners wouldn’t want to have a family with them. Of those who said that stigma in relationships had the biggest impact on them, more than half (54 per cent) had avoided getting close to people to avoid rejection.  

See Me volunteer Tommy Kelly from North Ayrshire is backing the programme’s call for change, saying that stigma from those closest to him has had a major impact on his life.  

Tommy shares how he is still faced with judgement from family when he publicly discusses his mental health journey, but says he understands the benefits of sharing his story outweigh their reactions.  

When Tommy was first diagnosed with an eating disorder, his close family thought it was a threat.    

He said: “They believed that I was trying to get attention from my dad because I had just lost my mum.  To this day, some still don’t speak to me because I speak out in the media about mental health. They say I’m trying to portray myself as a victim.    

“At first, I really struggled. When you're going through these problems, you hate yourself enough. So, when somebody close to you says something like that, it made me believe that they must be right.    

“It really did take me a long time to look at myself and say, ‘Well, is that actually me?’   

“But it made me feel ashamed, guilty, and it made me hate myself more than anything, to be honest.”  

Tommy added that another family member doubted he could struggle with an eating disorder because he is a man.    

However, he understands that they come from “different generations” where mental health and more complex mental illnesses were not discussed or information about them was not as accessible.   

Three quarters of those who took part in the 2022 Scottish Mental Illness Stigma Study (75 per cent) who identified relationships as having a major impact on them say that they have been treated unfairly by family, while almost half (49 per cent) have been rejected or estranged.  

In recent months, stigmatising language relating to mental health and mental illness has started to emerge from senior public figures – including damaging comments around ‘overdiagnosis’ of mental health problems and questioning if people really do need mental health support.   

See Me is calling on the public to join them in addressing public stigma by making changes to their own behaviour and language around mental health and mental illness.  

Tommy said that although he knew his father came from a background where “men don’t speak about their problems,” he was the one who offered Tommy the support to help him recover.  

“He always used to say, a man keeps his tears for his pillow,” Tommy added.  

“Even when I lost my mum, he never really spoke about things – and I never knew that my dad was also going through his own mental health struggles. When I opened up about my problems, and slowly admitted that I had an eating disorder, he was the person that was there for me.   

“I was worried about that because I thought, ‘The way my dad is, is he going to turn away from me?’  

“My dad said to me, ‘I’ve lost my wife, I don’t want to lose my son, and I love you. You can tell me anything and I'll be there to support you.’ And my dad always was.”  

Tommy believes if he didn’t have his dad at the time, he probably would never have recovered. His father persevered, visiting him in hospital, and got Tommy the help he needed even when Tommy rejected it.  

When it comes to advising family and friends of someone who lives with a mental health condition, Tommy said listening and being nonjudgmental – and validating someone’s feelings – can go a long way.  

“You don’t have to give them answers. The important thing is supporting them and letting them know that you’re going to be there for them, you’re not going to judge them – and if they want to open up, listen and validate their feelings.”  

See Me is calling on people across Scotland to join the movement to put an end to mental health stigma and discrimination.    

See Me director Wendy Halliday said: “While public awareness of mental health peaked during the Covid-19 pandemic, we’re starting to see a backward shift in acceptance and compassion – much of which is influenced by what we’re seeing in the news and online.  

“When we hear politicians speaking about the ‘overdiagnosis’ of mental health problems or conversations about cuts to benefits which have the potential to impact people with experience of mental ill health, it legitimises stigma and discrimination. It is important that we all challenge these harmful views.   

“Beyond specialist services, we should be able to rely on those closest to us for support and understanding, but the Scottish Mental Illness Stigma Study showed us that that often isn’t the case, and stories like Tommy’s reinforce this.  

“It’s on all of us to act on mental health stigma and discrimination. If someone close to you has experienced poor mental health or a mental illness, it’s important to avoid judgement, to understand what it feels like and to know what you can do to support.”