Jacklyn Calvard encourages a good digital death to make sure you don't live on in the cloud long after you are sitting on a cloud

As a hospice nurse, I believe that death is a natural part of living. There are midwives who assist on the journey in and reverse midwives (me) who assist on the journey out. Today, though, with so much of our lives lived online, I can be there in the flesh to hold your hand as you leave this world, but I can’t ensure your digital self comes along for the journey.

We often hear the term "a good death" bandied about, but what does it actually mean in relation to today’s world? We can offer comfort at the end of life via medications to relieve symptoms of dying, but how do we tie up our online presence?

Notifications to get out and finish that 10K training after you have hung up those trainers for good, may be very upsetting to family and friends

Jacklyn Calvard

Dying, like living, is multi-dimensional. Although we can look at the dimension so death separately, they are always intertwined.

Physical health is often the first thing people think of when talking about dying. It’s easy to see why, as progressive disease can often be the cause of death. If we feel unwell, we are often quicker to open up Dr Google and input symptoms experienced than visiting a healthcare professional. We use apps and online platforms to record nutrition and diet information. We track our fitness, share tips and education about health and wellbeing, but we don’t discuss what happens when we can no longer do these activities. Notifications to get out and finish that 10K training after you have hung up those trainers for good, may be very upsetting to family and friends.

Social health often evokes images of damp housing and chest infections but we actually link much of our social health to online services in this modern world. We often find our housing, employment and health services online. We socialise online, we share our views, opinions and deepest thoughts, and we share our photos of friends and family. This has implications after death. Which digital assets do we own? Who has access to those photos, messages etc. Your precious memories may be stored in the cloud long after you are sitting on a cloud?

Increased awareness of emotional health in recent years has been very helpful in reaching out to people. There are some very sad cases of online bullying and suicide. These incidents may have happened completely online but the impact is hugely devastating to people around them in the real world. We often go to online forums for support. There are even government approved sites such as Breathing Space which give people assistance when struggling with mental ill health or anxiety.

Spirituality is a huge topic. It encompasses so many variatiations dependant on the person. Much of what spirituality is, concerns how it makes the individual feel. There are online societies, churches and many other sites and services that refer to spiritual health.

So, how can we tie up our online presence? Set an eternal out of office?

People build multi-million pound empires online. I am sure the Zuckerburgs of the world, will be certain to have something in place for when they die to protect their assets.

So, why shouldn't you. Firstly, sit down, grab a pen and consider the following issues.

Who has your passwords? I am not saying that everything must be accessible, but check with social media, emails and other online platforms, that you can add a legacy contact, or just have someone manage your online accounts when you die. You might even want them closed. There can be nothing worse than a birthday reminder for a dearly departed friend on Facebook because nobody can access the account to change, close or memorialise it.

Are you being green? Many companies offer paperless billing but who has access to these? It may be that you have millions in the bank but nobody knows because you have all your bank statements online.

You could also consider using a digital legacy service. Companies like DeadSocial can offer a range of free tools to help get you actively involved in your digital legacy.

Every year there are thousands more services added and available online from bacon of the month subscriptions (not a joke!) to an AI bot which will converse with you as long as you wish to procrastinate.

Let’s go people. The sooner the better. When it comes to planning for the inevitable, it makes sense to do it now. Don’t get stuck in a digital graveyard. Leave in style and be remembered exactly how you would like!

We live online… let’s die online too.