Fostering can be hugely rewarding
A mother-of-three who grew up in the care system before going on to foster more than100 children is calling on others to consider becoming foster carers.
Denise Hopkinson, who has been married to husband Rick for almost 50 years, was herself fostered as a young girl, and it was this period of her life that gave her the motivation and drive to become a foster carer herself.
Denise, from Livingston, said: “I was a looked-after child and was in care for six years. I was in a home at first and then I moved on to a foster family. I was fortunate that I had a lovely foster family, and I was very happy living with them. When I stayed with them, I used to say: ‘When I am a big girl, I am going to do this and I’m going to make somebody as happy as you have made me.’ That stuck in my head.”
But, despite her determination, there was still one hurdle for Denise, 65, to overcome, as she explains: “I met Rick when I was 15 and still at school. We were still teenagers when he asked me to get engaged, and I said to him that I had to foster; that was one of the conditions of us getting married. I said: ‘I won’t marry you if you won’t let me foster.’ And he said to me: ‘Yeah, I’m good for that.’”
Denise and Rick already had three children of their own when the first foster child joined their family in 1987. “It was my goal. I had to do this. It was like payback for the help that I had and how happy my carers had made me,” she adds. Now, Denise estimates that the couple have fostered “well over 100 kids”.
“We fostered children with the Local Authority first. We had a long-term fostered child that left and then my children started leaving, and we thought: ‘Maybe it’s time for us to have a break.’ We took some time out and did some stuff by ourselves.
“But, as I was approaching 50, one night Rick said to me: ‘You have that look.’ I replied: ‘What look?’ And he said: ‘You know what look!’ I had been driving into town that day and has seen an advert on a bus for the charity Barnardo’s and thought: ‘If we can make a difference to one more child it would be worth it.’
“It is very rewarding and wonderful to see all the goals that the children in your care are able to achieve, and you know that they may not have reached these goals without your support and love. It can be challenging, but when they achieve things, like going to university, it’s a very special feeling indeed. I would strongly urge others to considering fostering a child.”
Speaking about the couple’s experience of working with Barnardo’s, Denise said: “Training is an important factor when looking after children, and the training with Barnardo’s is always excellent.
Barnardo’s provides a range of activities and helps the children to integrate with other like-minded children. It’s like one big family when they all get together and this helps their social skills as a lot of looked-after children can feel isolated. There is always a range of support when and if needed.”
Denise, who has been a foster carer with Barnardo’s since 2010, remembers her own time in a special foster family and how she was in contact with them long after she had moved on. She says: “I kept in touch with them until they went into a nursing home. They have both passed now, but it was lovely to keep that relationship. They made me feel safe and loved.”
Anne Whyte, assistant head of fostering and adoption at Barnardo’s Scotland, said: “At present, we are operating under the backdrop of a very real crisis in our society today. Having supported children for a century and a half, we urgently need more people like Denise and Rick to come forward and consider becoming foster carers to play their part in continuing this legacy.
“Right now, Scotland is facing a foster care crisis at an unprecedented rate, with too many children still entering the care system and an insufficient number of loving homes to accommodate them. The impact of the crisis is felt most by children in the care system. Without enough potential foster homes, children are already at risk of being placed in unsuitable situations as a last resort.
“We know fostering is a big decision – and we certainly do not expect people to foster more than 100 children – but with more children entering the care system each year, there’s no time to wait. Your skills and care can change a child’s life. The perfect time to foster a child doesn’t exist, but the right time is now. Please get in touch with us for a no strings attached conversation, and let’s talk fostering today.”
A crisis in fostering in Scotland was identified last year when Barnardo’s pointed to research by The Fostering Network that revealed the number of foster families required stands at 500.
Barnardo’s Scotland is committed to keeping The Promise to care-experienced young people and to ensure every child in Scotland grows up safe, loved and respected.
