Kerry Watson, from Dunfermline, is backing a Help for Heroes campaign aimed at encouraging armed forces families to come forward for mental health support
My husband Kenneth suffered hearing loss and back injuries after being caught in two bomb blasts in Afghanistan in 2012 while serving with the 3rd Battalion the Rifles and was medically discharged from the army last year.
Kenneth didn’t really notice any difference – but I did. It was about 18 months after he came back from Afghanistan. He was agitated and frustrated but we thought it was because of his back injury – he was in constant pain, had restless legs syndrome and tinnitus in his ears from the blast. We just had our son Harris so weren’t sleeping well at the time.
Kenneth went to the doctor for pain relief and then got physiotherapy. His back injury was improving, Harris was getting older and started sleeping through the night – but Kenneth’s mood didn’t improve, he still didn’t seem happy.
He was emotionless, even though we had a baby. I was excited and happy at Harris’s milestones – putting on weight, sitting up for the first time, smiling. But Kenny was in his own little world and the army was all that mattered; he had no enjoyment of things like days out or walking the dogs.
He had a new wife, a lovely son, we had no problems. Everything was in place to be happy, so why was he not happy? Kenneth was always upbeat before – if I was ever worried or upset he would cheer me up. It was such a change. I can’t even describe how different he was. I thought it was me that Kenneth didn’t want to be part of a family, that we were going to get divorced.
The turning point came when I did a mental health first aid course advertised at Dreghorn Barracks in Edinburgh, where we lived at the time.
I was planning to study psychology so I thought it might be useful. The instructor had PTSD herself from serving in the forces and was talking about her own experiences –including having no interest in life. Her sister had a baby but she couldn’t enjoy it. Every word she said described Kenneth. He was a bit offended when I suggested he might have PTSD too. He said “Of course I will be upset about things that happened on tour, I am allowed to say things like that, I don’t have PTSD.” He was convinced it was normal to feel like that but I felt sure it was depression – he fitted every criteria.
Kenneth eventually agreed to see the army medical officer who gave him antidepressants and referred him to the community psychiatric nurse (CPN) who diagnosed him with PTSD.
Once a professional told him, he accepted something was not right and agreed to have therapy. About six months later, I was speaking to a girl whose husband had physical injuries and she told me about the Band of Sisters. I looked it up on the Help for Heroes’ website, got in touch and got emails inviting me to the BOS coffee mornings and events. Up until then I felt like I was on my own. It was so helpful to meet people in similar situations and realise I wasn’t the only person in Scotland going through this.
I was having a really hard time and contacted the army welfare service who offered me counselling. I had nine months of counselling which I found really helpful. Kenneth’s CPN and my counsellor worked together and we gave them permission to share notes, which linked things together. For example, if Kenneth was having therapy and said he was fine, I would be saying “It’s not fine because of XYZ” so his CPN knew he wasn’t telling the truth.
Help for Heroes also gave me a key worker I could phone for support. He asked if I had any spare time what would I like to do? I said I would like to try horse-riding as I hadn’t done it for 17 years. Initially I said I didn’t have time with looking after Harris and Kenneth, housework and studying – but he challenged me and I thought why can’t I do something for an hour a week, that’s just for me. I registered with a riding school in Edinburgh and have kept it up ever since- now Harris is having lessons too.
